[wuyuetian! <3]

Updates, updates.

YVIP 2007. A new role, a new experience. I don't really know what to comment, except that my performance was rather disappointing.

Surprise, surprise. The passion in Sylvia eloped with her heart. Sylvia didn't bother to chase them back because she felt that it was rather pointless. There must be some reason for them to escape, it is ridiculous to go after something that should come naturally. The fact that Sylvia couldn't even feel made it hard to determine if that felt worse than a Dementor's attack.

Times like these are really dark. And she actually turned down help. That was rather extreme. Shrugs, home is the best place to recuperate.

` timed out-- Thursday, December 20, 2007 5:39:55 PM

Have been really disgusted at myself these days for I became the slave to my brain and emotions. I knew that i could reverse the mastery but I chose not to. Perhaps because certain things that caused permanent damage cannot be so easily forgiven and forgotten. And that I was in the state of depression and was thinking over some issues. It was really the wrong time to do anything what requires a clear head.

Not only did i screw things up, I screwed up schedule up. As a result, I missed two chalets, crap.

Now isn't the time to be emo. Buck up. It's time to roar tomorrow.

` timed out-- Sunday, December 02, 2007 3:46:01 PM

I thought it would be easy. I thought it's nothing. "Hey man, there's nothing for me to do there. I'm sure I can mug just as well there as at home or even better." Staying to Sunday seemed to be no kick.

I was wrong. I was so wrong. Certainly, it went lighter on the heart this time round. This proves either proves that I've learnt from the previous lesson or that I am unfeeling. However, my duty wasn't as simple as I thought. Waiting, serving, clearing and observing was absolutely energy consuming. I couldn't concentrate on that da*m NJ chem paper 1. My brain refused to shut himself. I got pissed with myself and I moved away. Things were a weeny better but it didn't last long. I'm not complaining about my duty. Simply realised how naive I was once again, to think that it will be a super relaxing thing to do.

In a day, I've learnt many things. Sometimes, you just need such events to get a chance to learn more about the people who are related to you. It is sad, but it is a fact. Things are always crystal clear there. And I'm grateful for that.

I feel torn apart. I feel ashamed that my brother is doing so much more when I do not know how should I prioritise my duties. Does As come before that? Even if I get U for Bio, it won't screw my life up, will it?

` timed out-- Thursday, November 15, 2007 5:08:12 PM